After my physical she asked if I would talk with her in her office. Dum, dum, dum. So, I took of my johnnie, put on my street clothes and walked into her office and shut the door behind me. First, she wanted to let me know that my stomach issues were most likely caused by stress induced Irritable Bowel Syndrome, great, so not only is my throat filled with polyps, my head is going in a hundred different directions, now my colon has decided to join the party and get pissed off too. I picture my colon as an angry old man with salt and pepper hair sprouting from his ears, clenched fists and a horrible screwed up face like he just walked into someone elses fart.
It was after the IBS conversation that she asked me if I wanted a prescription for an antidepressant/anti anxiety medicine.
I was crushed.
I do not want to be looked at as the type of person who needs the help of pharmaceuticals to be happy, I want to be happy on my own, on the inside, without help. I explained to her that I have a stigma when it comes to drugs, my father was not part of my life because he was addicted to drugs, heroin to be exact, and he's dead because he couldn't stop, because the drugs and the alcohol killed him. Its too close to me. I've always prided myself on being the strong one, the one who didn't need the things that other people needed to get by, I'm the girl who wouldn't take the Vicodin that my doctor prescribed when I broke my pelvis, I didn't need it.
I refused the prescription, and walked out of the doctors appointment with what felt like the scarlet letter of depression tattooed on my face, like everyone could clearly see now that I needed help.
It just so happened that I had a nice calming bikini wax scheduled right after this appointment, lovely. There's nothing like the first bikini wax after a long cold winter, and yes, I'm being facetious. As I disrobed from the waste down and hoped up on the waxing table, placed the soles of my feet together, I realized that the position that one gets in for a bikini wax is quiet similar to the yoga pose Baddha Konasana - see below.
So, basically you do this, but then lay down on your back. So, I laid back, in my modified yoga pose and said to myself, "I can relax, I can deal with stress, watch me, I'll be the best yogic bikini waxer ever", so I closed my eyes and felt no pain. Which is no easy feat as the woman who was doing my bikini wax clearly had nothing to do for the rest of the day, and took her sweet time, going over spots that I swear she had gone over 2 or 3 times before. At the end she commented to me that I never flinched or said a word, or seemed to feel any discomfort at all. No, no I didn't, because I don't need no stinking pills.
We're had dinner at a friends house Saturday, a married couple who are also in therapy, although they go for couples therapy. I think it's funny that Chris will be the only one at dinner not in therapy, its like he's the one thats weird.
I'm made a Mediterranean grilled vegetable appetizer platter to bring over and I thought that this would go perfectly with the roasted vegetables and hummus. This recipe comes from the Vegetable Planet Cookbook that I bought last summer, which has just been waiting patiently for me to give it some lovin'.
Dried Fruit and Nut Tabbouleh
1 cup bulgar wheat
2 1/2 cups hot water
2 seedless oranges peeled, segmented and chopped
1 1/2 cups chopped fresh parsely
1/2 cup chopped fresh mint
1 cucumber peeled seeded and diced
1/2 cup onion finely diced
juice and zest of 1 lemon
1 clove minced
1/4 cup chopped toasted walnuts
1/4 cup currants
1/4 golden raisins
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
1. Combine the bulgar and the boiling water and cover for 20 minutes, strain through a fine mesh strainer after and put in a large bowl. Add the orange segments.
2. Combine the rest of the ingredients into the bulgar and oranges, mix to combine. Enjoy warm or cold....its great either way.
Rating = Good