Thursday, February 28, 2008

Vegan Lemon Blueberry Scones

So, yesterday I had a panel discussion at the unGodly hour of 7:00 in the frigging morning. Why the hell in the name of all that is good and holy would you schedule your panel discussion 7 hours past midnight? I don't get it, why not 8:00, really, 8:00 is a very nice time to start your discussion. Anyway, this discussion started with a continental type breakfast networking thing before hand; you know bagels, pastries, fruit and teeny tiny little plates, and no tables, so if you want to eat, you are forced to stand with plate in hand, while you juggle your coffee in the other hand and now you don't have an extra hand jetting out of your chest with which to eat with so you just basically don't eat. Awesome people thanks for planning your discussion at 7:00 in the morning and making it completely impossible to eat a breakfast before hand.

I bring this up because at the end of the discussion at 9:00 I could have dropped dead from hunger, so I went to the breakfast buffet and picked up a piece of breakfast bread, I think it was lemon, that had been pre cut into half slices, so it was not a whole slice, it was a half a slice, and I was starving. As I placed the half slice on my napkin a man, whom I have never met in my life walked up beside me and asked "how many calories do you think are in there?" Are you fucking kidding me? If it were the summer and I was wearing slip on flats I may have just taken my free hand, (the one not holding the mega calorie laden half slice) slipped of my flat and hit him the the face with the dirty sole of my shoe. At what point did it become PC for a man to come up to a women he has never met and discuss her caloric intake? Are you socially fucking retarded asshole?

My point is, I'm a small person. I'm not fat, I'm not thin, I'm what I refer to as "sporty", athletic if you will. But I guarantee you if I was overweight or obese this fuckface would not have felt that he could speak to me about the amount of calories that I was about to put into my face. Why is is ok for people to comment on what an average weight person eats, especially when they wouldn't feel comfortable saying the same thing to an overweight person? I'm lost here. When did it become socially acceptable to make comments to a woman who is at a healthy weight about her weight, or why is it ok for someone to tell another person that they are too skinny, but telling someone that they are too fat is taboo. I just don't get it. Why the double standard?

So what was my response to this question? I looked right at him and said "I don't give a shit how many calories are in it, I'm hungry." and then shoved it in my face.

So, can you say RANT? Sorry folks, just rubbed me the wrong way.

These scones were my own recipe that I made up. They were good, not the best, but definitely good, tasty and obviously low fat.

Vegan Blueberry Lemon Scones
2 C flour
3/4 C oats
1/4 C brown sugar
1/4 C white sugar
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
2 tbs lemon juice plus zest of one lemon
1/2 C soy milk
1 C frozen blueberries
3/4 tsp nutmeg
1 tsp vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 400.
Combine dry ingredients. Combine wet ingredients. Add wet to dry, mix until incorporated. Fold in blueberries. Drop onto greased cookie sheet (or slipat). Bake 25 minutes or until toothpick comes clean.
Rating = Damn Good


A. Grace said...

nice retort. i've perfected my "don't-come-near-me-or-talk-to-me-until-i-put-some-food-in-my-mouth" look and it works wonders at keeping people like him at bay. :)

wheresmymind said...

Like you aren't up at 5am anyhoo :P

D said...

he wasn't raised right, it was too damn early, and you were hungry. only bad things could have come from that scenario.

Tatiana said...

I like your recipe, I think I may make it! You are quite the storyteller, I enjoyed it.
Awesome Vegan Girl